Romans 1

I have been reading the book of Romans lately. This blog post is, I guess, just some verses that have really caught my attention.

God has really been trying to make me understand that I am not made to please this world. If I am doing what he wants me to do, I won't be comfortable. And I need to be okay with that. It isn't about happiness or comfort...it's about obeying him and experiencing the joy that obedience brings. I guess that is why Romans 1:1 stood out to me so much. "Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle and set apart for the gospel of God...." I think that because that is the beginning of the letter to the Romans; the introduction, we tend to tune it out. But that verse finally made it hit home: I need to be set apart.

Romans 1:8 says, "First, I thank God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is being reported all over the world." Just think about that! The church in Rome was so faithful that they were being talked about everywhere. I read that, and I realized that I want to have that kind of faith. The kind that people can't help but notice. The kind that doesn't stay hidden. What is the point of just saying you are a Christian if you don't live it and spread it every day? We are his witnesses. This verse convicts me to speak out concerning my faith. If I truly love God, surely I would want to tell others about him. Surely my love for him would spill over incessantly.

The end of that paragraph goes along with the next verse, Romans 1:16. It says, "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes...." We cannot just sit around and hope that somehow, non-believers will magically come to know Jesus. What kind of a witness is that? We have to be purposeful in our actions, trying to reach other people with the salvation we have received.

These are kind of random verses...but like I said, they are verses that spoke to me.

Papa

Last night at ten thirty, one of the sweetest men I have ever known passed away. To give a little background, my mom's best friend also happens to be my best friend's mom. (Tricky, I know.) Anna, my best friend, is the best. Really. You say that people are always there for you, but you rarely ever mean it seriously. But when I say Anna is always there for me, it's absolutely true. I only hope I can be the same for her. Teri, my mom's best friend, is like my second mom. She has tucked me in, sang me to sleep, comforted me, punished me, and loved me for as long as I can remember. Erica, Anna's older sister, is my older sister. People have actually tried to convince me that she isn't (which I don't get), but she is. I love her just like I would love any older sister I had. And Chris, Anna's older brother, would be my older brother, if he hadn't proposed to me when I was three. (He was eight, I think.) So he's just my future husband, is all. Carl, Anna's dad, is my other dad. Ever since I was old enough to call someone on the phone, I have been calling her. (My fingers still automatically punch in her number.) Every time Carl answers the phone (and I mean every time), and I ask to speak to Anna, he pretends to not know who I am. Did I say every time? Cause I really meant every time. Since I have always been so close to them, it's only natural that their grandparents become like my grandparents. So when Papa went to heaven last night, I lost a grandparent. I loved him so much. He was always the sweetest, and he sang and played the guitar (and banjo) beautifully. He was so funny! He made us laugh all the time. And he loved his family. His grandchildren were the most amazing things ever, in his eyes. Thankfully, we are sad not because we do not know where he is. We know that now, he is no longer hurting, but has the privilege to meet the Lord face to face. We are only sad because we miss him. I don't have much else to say, only that I loved Papa like crazy. I'm going to end with a verse of a hymn that he loved.

"Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blessed assurance control, that Christ has regarded my helpless estate, and has shed his own blood for my soul."

Constant

The beginning of Psalm 22 says, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? Oh my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer. By night, and am not silent."

Have you ever felt like that? Like everything has gone so terribly wrong; like even the God who created you has left you. Thankfully, the psalm does not stop there.

It nears the end with these words, "He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help."

Not sure about anyone reading this, but those words comfort me so much!

When I talk to God, I prefer to think of other ways to address him. My favorite is "Constant." Throughout everything, there is God. When everything else falls apart, when your friends leave, when family members die...only one thing never changes. That one thing is God. The Constant.

House of Heroes has a song that says my thoughts exactly. The chorus says, "All through the night I was falling, straining to hear your voice calling. You never gave out, you never gave in, you never quite gave up on me. You are my Constant."

I guess what I am trying to say with this is that no matter what you are going through, God will always be there. Just...that simple.

First Day of the End of Normal Life...and the Beginning of my Journey Toward Becoming an Author

Okay, so the title was unnecessarily long. Although it summed up exactly how today felt to me. Today marks the first day of NaNoWriMo. My word count? 1,953. I'm pretty stoked about it. The recommended goal was 1,766, so I think I am doing pretty well. I have to admit, the hardest part was starting. I sat and stared at my computer screen for a good while before I told myself that it didn't have to be perfect. I would edit it later. Which brings me back to something...I am not editing this as I go along. After all, I have only 30 days to write 50,000 words. I have no time to mess around with editing. So December is "editing month." Also, if you want to read my novel when I finish, that's fine. But here's where I get serious. I will send you a copy by e-mail. However, if I send you a copy, that means that I trust you. Which basically just means don't take advantage of that trust by plagiarizing in any way. Please. Anyway, tomorrow is a new day, and I have to write a good bit more, so it certainly isn't over. This is only the first day of the end...or the beginning, however you choose to look at it.

NaNoWriMo

Starting Monday, NaNoWriMo begins. For those of you that do not know what NaNoWriMo is...I'm not sure how to explain it. My best attempt is this: it's a writing program online that you sign up for and try to write a novel. The novel has to be 50,000 words, or 175 pages. It starts on November 1...and ends November 30. Only thirty days. Needless to say, being the girl who has never finished writing a book in her life, I am more than a little nervous. I have friends who have completed the challenge before who are going to encourage me, though. The main reason I am posting about this is this: sometime during the month of November, I will become very, very discouraged, and will wonder why I ever decided to try to write an entire novel in a month. I will then want to quit. However, if many people know that I am going to attempt this, my pride will surely be enough to keep me from giving up and so humiliating myself.

Fall

I'm not sure how to explain the feelings that fall generates in me. It is like no other season. In my mind, the seasons have thoughts and emotions. So I will explain that way.

Winter is cool and hard. He invites you in with a smile and a kiss only to continue on in his sadistic way for months. He is often cruel, and sometimes murderous. Gray and white are his colors; bleak, and still harsh. After him comes spring, and she seems lovely at first, but the warm, beautiful days of her beginning do not last. They are instead replaced with the chilling notes of winter, of which you are so everlastingly tired. Spring opens up a threshold of new hopes only to crush them. (Unknowingly, of course. Spring is never evil in intentions.) Her colors are pink and yellow: exquisite and unstable colors. However lovely she may be, her elegance is fragile, and does not last. Soon she is overtaken by the stifling summer. Summer is jealous of the glamourous spring season, and exacts her revenge by lasting longer and longer each year. Summer's colors are orange and red. Airless and oppressive. She smothers you in heat and humidity, and tries her hardest to avoid blessing you with rain. It just wouldn't be very revengeful, she justifies. So smother she does, despite the pain she inflicts. Thankfully, she is followed at last by her brother, the warm, welcoming fall. Fall is a peace-maker. He begins his days with a gradual lapse of heat, so as not to hurt poor summer's feelings. (After all, she is actually quite good at heart.) Then slowly, slowly, he turns his attentions to the cooling of the weather, and the falling of the leaves. What a gorgeous time fall charges! He is able to change the colors of the leaves (something done in no other season), create his own smells (for what else says fall but the scent of a bonfire or pumpkin pie?), and compromise gracefully. It is no wonder that this fantastic season is the season in which we give thanks.

Erratic Musings

Blake reminded me that I hadn't written in a while. And then reminded me that my posts don't have to be ridiculously long.

• Today, my family went to the SC state fair. We hadn't gone in about three years...and I had forgotten how much I missed it. I ate a corn dog, Fiske fries, mini doughnuts, a funnel cake, fried mushrooms, a cookie, and more Fiske fries. *whew* I'm thinking it will be a long time before I will be hungry again.
• I discovered that going through fun houses makes me feel like Indiana Jones. I must say that is an awesome feeling. Also, My dad and I found a cake that looked like Indiana Jones. I won't say what his whip looked like. (Hint: It did not look like a whip.)
• Apparently, a lot of exchange students work at the fair. There were tons of strange accents; including a cute French accent. I like accents. I am thinking of adopting one. Or keeping mine, and moving somewhere else where my accent is different.
• In previous years, I have always felt like we left the fair too early to do everything that I wanted to do. This year, it was not so. We did everything imaginable. That is, except seeing a dog-trick show.
• I drove to Columbia on the interstate last night...most of the way! My daddy said that I drove well. *happyhappyhappyhappy* (In case you were wondering, this is when I danced a happy dance.)
• Today is October 15th. That means that today, my friend Aaron turns 17. It also is our first friendiversary. Awesome.

I guess this is an acceptable blog post.